Tired

Back on my Wlog. Now I do not know why. But I am tired. Yet I do not want to sleep. I do not want to close my eyes and travel to another world, a place of comfort and peace. Perhaps I am unsatisfied, unsettled here. Very much so.

I wonder how someone could be so mean and thoughtless. But isn't that mean and thoughtless of me to say so? Perhaps but all I feel is a crack in my heart. A hairline crack but still painful... We do not talk much anymore and I accept it graciously (so I think, or wish). I know our time has passed, for now. Our capacity to each other has changed as well. Yet the absence sometimes stings.

As time trickles on and more truths creep into my consciousness, I learn more and find out what could have really transpired. I try not to load my mind and heart with too much but I worry about such souls. Lost to themselves. Unable to see how much they still can give.

Who am I to say, to judge or even question? I know I am no saint, no intellectual, nobody really. But I do know I'm sometimes a lover. I find that worrying is part of the role.