Health and Wealth

So the corporate video production is over. Kind of. Still gotta take care of post production, packaging, paperwork, accounts and other necessities. I'm too sleepy to really type. I had good food for a friend's birthday, and also had my virgin Sheesha today. Smoking fruit filtered in water. I was having fun till I realised I was smoking, nonetheless. That's awful. It's still a cancer-causing habit. I will not, of course, make a habit out of it. I am quite fotunate that I haven't been hooked on anything, or anything too evil. Yet. I love chicken skin and chocolates but it's not crucial. I get by fine without them.

A friend's father just passed on from cancer, that dreadful disease. I've always said I had to and now I have decided to put it into action. I seriously, truly, honestly, really, want to work on health and build up some, well... resources, not exactly wealth. But I must anticipate any rainy days or emergencies. Guess this is what being a production manager has taught me. I guess, at the back of my mind, I always knew this. So this reminded me.

So health-wise I am going to start and make a hobby or habit out of rockclimbing. I think I'll have fun. I've always wanted to do this. Just gotta get off my lazy arse and do it. It's not even bank-breaking. I shall try to eat wisely as well. But I suppose that might come naturally after I learn to exercise.

Resources-wise, I want to also work as much as I can now that I have the energy for I need the money so much, for things like rent, bills, the future. I might want a child to love and live for someday, whether alone or with a mate. I will not lend money to anyone ever again. My mom was right that if you lend money, you must not expect it to return. I foolishly expected it not to return and lent it anyway. Well, never too late to learn.

I miss my family. I haven't spent much time with them at all. My dad is too sweet to not be near, and my brothers are great to remind me of things I've forgotten or that I take for granted. My mom, despite nagging me from time to time, is a bit of a caring yardstick on life and priorities. My aunt and uncle practically raised me and must be feeling lonely or neglected that I am hardly ever with them nowadays.

I think I have found a soulmate for sure this time. I feel it's too much of a good thing at this young stage of my life. Can I trust this? Well either way I have decided to follow my gut feeling, my heart, my mind. I'll find a compromise between them all. I need to clear things up with the past though. Consequences linger for what would seem like the longest time. Wish I knew what to do. That's why fortune tellers and psychics are in business. Well, I'm going to rest now so I can be fresh in drama class tomorrow. I owe it to the kids. They're really good kids too. I gotta arrive earlier to set up the video for the kids.

I know God and Greg, or my guardian angel, has been taking care of me. I didn't fall into the scary ocean. I am now quite surprised at how well I managed to handle it, not freaking out on that flammable tanker or staggering up and down the ropey Jacob's ladder. Not sure what it really should be called. But I can't believe I missed mass again this week. I pray God will still listen to my prayers. After all the pleading and worrying, I just want to be a good person, worthy of living on this Earth. Ok... as I tried to say before... Goodnight.

New Energy

I have new energy although I am beat. I have just started another project, but this time as a production manager. Big call for a mere actor. But I've always watched, asked, learned. So I managed to deal with it all so far. I always wanted to do this. Now I know.

Acting is still my truest, most honest work, a career I've built up over the last half decade. Though it really doesn't get anywhere here in this country. From this harrowing experience as a production manager, I think I'll finally get my guts up, and get off my butt, and produce something of my own, like a feature, in the near future.

Anyhow, the last two weeks of preproduction was tedious, uncertain and scary. It was like walking on a thread while waiting for a tight rope. I wasn't sure if I was gonna get everything, or anything, right. But I knew I'd do my utmost. So today we began. First day of shoot went well. I'm awfully grateful for my assistants, official and unofficial, who were real kind souls. I thank God and all the lucky stars God made for me.

Second and thrid day will be a lot more complicated so I hope it turns out good too. More locations, props, wardrobe, talents, budget. Oh dear. I'm nervous all over again. K, I ought to sleep. I must wake in six hours. I must get some sort of breakfast for the crew, cast and extras. It's gonna be another long day.