Father’s day was pretty good I think. We had a nice dinner last week for him. My dad’s such a good guy that you wish you could clone him for the greater good of all mankind. Why don’t they or He make more men like that I wonder. I think the best father’s day gift to him was his own decision to finally try a special prescription I had procured in an uneventful yet unusual turn of events.
I had been praying for the longest time for a cure for his condition and just a couple of days after returning from work abroad, I was called up in the late morning to stand in for a model who fell ill. This was for a big annual trade show on communications and business IT (info technology) solutions. I thought about how I was past that stage in my life and then I thought about how poor I had become. In barely an hour, I was at a cosy booth in the large old familiar exposition hall. It wasn’t as cold as I had remembered. Or perhaps my trip had toughened me up and fattened my layers of insulation. I was in Massachusetts and California mostly.
After some of the flyers were depleted, I tiptoed and fumbled around and was eventually asked what I was looking for. Out of mild pent-up frustration, cheekiness, pure honesty, or something I haven’t yet recognised, I blurted, “I’m looking for a cure for Cancer!” With a sincere smile of course, which I believe had glaring elements of relief and apology. There were a few laughs.
Then the CEO went, “I have it.” We spoke and while my little bits of skepticism and bitterness faded away, my eyes were welling up but I refused to let them spill. I had done my own research long before and his ideas coincided and fit quite neatly. It should not be spoken of now but I promise I will talk about it if this secret recipe works. He was such a dear and though I was not working the other days, I returned to pick up some for my dad to try. At this terminal stage, anything ought to be worth a try. My first prayer might well be answered soon. I always knew God was listening.
I do believe strongly in God, a higher being that watches over us. We are never alone. I’m glad my dad does too. So with that thought in mind, I learn to accept challenges and things I cannot change. I believe everything happens for a reason. A clear example to remind myself is the ecosystem and evolution. If the meteor or whatever it was that wiped most of them out hadn’t happened, if dinosaurs were still around and hadn’t evolved into birds, we would be their skewered dinner instead of us eating chicken. Which evolved from a dino.
I’m also certain I have a guardian angel taking care of me. I tend to be careless with myself and have not had too many scratches. But I am careful not to take my blessings for granted. I think I am more fortunate and happier than most in so many ways. My family is really loving and understanding. Everyone’s pretty matured. I know we all have lots to learn and will make a few silly mistakes now and learn the lessons later. But I know we’ll always be there for each other. That’s family. I don’t need anyone else but I would like to share that love and assurance with my friends. And if I ever marry, I will definitely extend all of that to the family I’ll be making.
Because of my faith in my belief, I am not afraid of death at all. I hate pain but can bear it if I need to. The only thing I fear is the consequences of death. I would hate for people to waste a day just mourning my passing. I might no longer feel or need anything in this world. Maybe I might make it a party instead. Celebrating life and love I have enjoyed and shared. It’s one of those great unknowns. It would be unfair to judge it as a sad or scary place to be, It might be wonderful. It might be Heaven. I would be sad to leave the people I love behind, and will worry if they ever doubt my love for them. I would also be sad if my family had to sort out my legal issues like taxes and bank accounts in cold unfeeling institutions. I can also see them selling my stuff and handing the takings to Little Sisters of the Poor or St Vincent De Paul. I’d like that.
When I think about justice, I think about why different nations do what they do, either out of desperation, power, keeping up appearances, a reaction because of its relations or history with another, a plan for the future, plain greed, benevolence or mercy. Or anything else. I have so much to learn in this world and I want to. I think knowledge and understanding is the way to make the world a better place. There is a bit of good in people wanting “world peace” but just saying or wishing it is not going to make it happen. I want to DO something. I MUST do it. What other purpose could I have on Earth? I don’t think I will ever be actively involved in any sort of politics, not even office politics. But I don’t deny that it changes the world either. I know my time here is limited so I’d like to start as soon as possible. So I can only start small.
First, I want to petition for the local Zoo to release the poor polar bears from the sweltering equatorial heat and humidity. Next, I’ll do what I can here for Aung San Suu Kyi to be released. I'd like to visit Burma soon.
