Why Do You Love Me?

Things are beginning to look up.
Everywhere.
In the economy, in my friends' lives, even in my own (just a little, for one month only).

My own has never been a big consideration. I have been looking for a light at the end of my tunnel. Always feels like I am in between worlds. In between content and depressed. Between overworked and undesired. Between lost and found. Between useless and appreciated. Between lonely and loved.

I suppose when I measure my own worth in this tangible realm, I sometimes see myself as appreciated when I am asked to contribute my expertise. Once in a while that can affect my self esteem, sadly. However, I am also aware of the fleeting whims of this world, certain that the spiritual realm is wider, larger and more accepting of everyone. Being accepted has never been a goal of mine. Who cares if others love, hate, need or fear me? At the end of the day, I only want to be loved by those I love. That does not include being accepted or understood. I actually get annoyed when someone assumes they understand me or figured me out, but usually won't bother correcting them unless I love them.

Can one love without figuring someone or something out? I very much think so. And sometimes it can be seen as blind faith, as in some religions. Sometimes it is appreciated as unconditional love. Of course, there are dangerously foolish examples reported by gossip and the news to warn us of the perils one could experience by falling in love with addictions, fanaticism, abusive partners and greed.

I think that if one really loves, say, God, they do not need to figure out exactly what God wants with the world. It is useful if you want to carry out God's mission or do God's work, but if this entity is God, maybe you're supposed to leave most of it up to Him or Her, or It. Whatever you know and feel from deep within your heart may have been installed at birth or creation, to guide you in doing the 'right' thing, to simply help others with unselfish kindness. I feel that if one does it to gain points or go to heaven, then they only doing it for their own good, rendering the act insincere; think salespeople whose smiles disappear when they realise you're not buying.

Anyway, this sorta conscience that guides you could be God's work in human beings and perhaps one should listen to it without judging (we're all only human, not God, and no different/better than each other), analysing (we'd be missing the living, the moment, now; haha to me) or enforcing it on others (we'd be a burden). Shouldn't it be a personal relationship beyond logical human explanation? Should love itself be as such? How does someone explain their love for any type of music or song? Or how about a scent or smell? Try as they might, they cannot really rationalize it, which adds to the intrigue and wonder.

Here is a little example. If you keep asking someone why they love you, and they finally come up with an answer, won't that be the most frightening thing?

A: Why do you love me?
B: Hmm I have been thinking and it's really because of how rich/kind/beautiful/insert any quality you are.
A: Oh, so if someone who's much richer/kinder/more beautiful/insert same quality comes along -
B: Yup, I'll leave you for that new person.
A: Just like that?
B: Yeah, cos that's the reason why I really want to be with you.
A: Ok... but won't you miss me?
B: Maybe. Probably. But I know exactly what to really look for in a partner.
A: So let's say this new person doesn't exist but I no longer have that quality after a few years, will you still stay with me?
B: Oh, now, that's tough. I guess I could, but I may not love you anymore.
A: Would you be on the lookout for a new partner?
B: I think, naturally I would, even if I never intended to be.

Let's change a few elements:

A: Why do you love this smartphone?
B: Hmm I have been thinking and it's really because of how fast it is.
A: Oh, so if another smartphone that's much faster comes along -
B: Yup, I'll leave this one for that new smartphone.
A: Just like that?
B: Yeah, cos that's the reason why I really want this smartphone.
A: Ok... but won't you miss it?
B: Maybe. Probably. But I know exactly what to really look for in a smartphone.
A: So let's say this new smartphone doesn't exist but yours is no longer fast after a few years, will you still stay with it?
B: Oh, now, that's tough. I guess I could, but I may not love it anymore.
A: Would you be on the lookout for a new smartphone?
B: I think, naturally I would, even if I never intended to be.

So why do I love those I love? No reason. I just do.